At 13, I coerced my parents into buying me a computer. Then, it was the PC. A string of Japanese gray boxes became a string of 3.5″ floppy disks. When I wasn’t drawing or making crude QuickBasic programs, I was playing some Microprose title or some virus-laden game passed through twenty other friends.

Suffice it to say, I’ve been playing video games for a while. Likely tens of thousands of hours that could have been devoted to reading, sports, homework, and various social fair, spent instead on poorly translated cut scenes and briefly satisfying boss fights.

And I know I’m not alone when I say I still have a video game system which I still play. It saddens me when I do the math. 32 years old, 2 children, 1 wife, 1 mortgage, still playing video games. Granted, video games are more an evening past time when the kids are in bed or a weekend vice when I should be doing chores, but the thought of a “man” playing video games seems really odd to me, considering our generation knew only kids to play with control pads and joysticks.

Clearly, the demographic has shifted. Think almost half of video gamers fall between 18 and 49 years old. That’s a whole lot of man-children.

I’m not sure what to think of the figures, and what folks a generation back would have been doing during these hours wasted nowadays on pixelated violence and simulated social interaction. What did video games replace? TV? Appreciation of the arts? Domestic violence? I don’t know, but I imagine it had to be more worthy than the Madden Football franchise.

All I know is, when I saw this Gamefly commercial recently featuring customer testimonials, most of the people looked like “men”. Sad, broken, 30-something men. Sure their hair was spiked and shirts pressed, but they had the look of basement living, mom’s cooking and night-shift jobs at Blockbuster.

I know I’ve devoted a lot of years to navigating fictional, digital characters, but at 32 are video games a retardant to maturity? Is casual gaming OK, and if so, where do you draw the line? Is it OK to play the games, just so long as you don’t own video game-inspired figurines? Are T-shirts with video game themes the final straw?

I’m not casting my XBox aside just yet, but I will say it doesn’t sit right with me. Not entirely.

(feel free to skip)
I was a husky kid. Didn’t take to sports much, ate big meals, and was sort of over sized kid most my childhood – height and weight. So it wasn’t until I was 11 before I ran more than 1 block without stopping. Several years later, I ran more than a mile for the first time to enter the Marine Corp “poolie” program. Bootcamp is where I discovered that I’m not too bad at running, and my time in Arizona pushed me to the furthest limits I’d ever seen on the trail. 6 miles was a normal day, 4 was short. Our farewell PT with SSgt Pulling was 11 miles – and we had no idea which turn or stretch would be our last the entire way.

After the military, I just used running to balance out my beer drinking. Casual smoking made it tougher for 6 years, but that didn’t hold me back during drill weekends with the Naval Reserve in Ft. Meade. Some days I’d light up a cigarette as soon as I stepped off the track.

These days, as an out of shape father and proud overweight American…

…I don’t take much to running with regularity. My time is precious: morning routine, kids, work, dinner, kids, kids, bedtime routine, XBox / beer / DVR, sleep… repeat. The best efficiency experts in the world couldn’t wedge more into this schedule – it’s airtight! However, my hat is off to anyone that maintains a healthy exercise regimen. It’s downright admirable – moderately, but nevertheless worth admiration. Different strokes for different folks, right?

My only qualm with the chronically fitness-minded is specifically with new converts and weekend warriors that preach it like gospel. You know the ones – they won’t stop talking about their workouts before, during and afterward in the locker room. Their social networking status reflects every new event, every sprain or sore leg, every new challenge and high end purchase they make in the pursuit of performance.

Leave it on the field

Fitness can create a level of fanaticism that rivals parenting, religion, and even the TV series Lost. I understand it’s your world right now, and that friends around you should support you in whatever makes you happy.  I’m not threatened by how much you can squat or the triathlons you’ve been in. I applaud your golf game, parkour abilities and ultimate frisbee skills.

But, the fact is, like the new dad that forces a steady regimen of baby photos on every friend, acquaintance and innocent bystander, the world is not that interested in your stuff. As an 8 year old you could demand your mother’s attention and approval when doing a cannonball at the public pool, but as an adult there’s a much smaller demographic willing to cheer and awe at your cardiovascular and anaerobic achievements. Kudos to you, but leave it on the field.

This can easily be an analogy for religion as well. You ever met a devote religious person who doesn’t say an unsolicited word about Christ to others? Aren’t they one of life’s treasures? I think so. Because for every Christian who’s quietly confident in their spiritual path, there seems to be ten others who are yelling out loud and annoying a lot of folks with their insecurities. Because, would you really spend your day trying to convince others about “the Good Word” if you were entirely convinced yourself? Just rings of compensation, I guess.

I digress. Competition with oneself is a great pursuit, one best kept between the participant, and… the participant. And if ESPN or Sports Illustrated decides to start following you along the way, you’ll have the audience you so richly deserve. Until then, you can spare me and others the personal thrill of inline skating that you alone understand. If you run a 5K or 10K, Kudos! But let my cursory “oh, that’s cool” signify that while I support your endeavors, I’m not ready to join your fan club.

Beating a dead horse…

So I feel I drove that one home a bit strong. I’m not as thrown by overly zealous fitness buffs as I sound, just the notion of someone who’s so driven in their own pursuits they lose perspective on how it’s received by others. It certainly beats a lot of things. Like a conversation about legalizing Marijuana. That’s right up there with alternate endings to World War II for me.

…for 3.1 miles

But, I did want to at least give fitness buffs a fair shake before I completely wrote them off. So, I signed up for a 5K run.

First, I do so with fairly good confidence in my abilities. I ain’t the springy Lance Corporal I used to be, but I still do a jaunty amble around the neighborhood from time to time. Second, I was really banking on American obesity. I figured since guys my age start packing on the pounds, my odds would be pretty good.

Driving up the to starting point, I was quickly disappointed by the crowd I saw. A whole lot more of decent runners and a lot less of the fat ones. I thought, “First Al Gore fails me, now you Morgan Spurlock. Great.” But no one heard me. And the clever reference was lost.

We were told to get there early. This meant yawning for 45 minutes off to the side of a crowd full of stretching, jumping, sprinting Livestrong bracelet and t-shirt wearers. Half the crowd had MP3 players in tow. I thought the notion silly since it was only a 20-30 minute run, but the wait proved them the more prepared.

Finally, folks signalled the start of the festivities, and 800 people swarmed to the street. I picked a place around the 2/5ths mark of the crowd, not knowing if I’d be trampled by superior athletes the moment the siren went off. Things went green, and we trotted away. I started edging around some, then found stuck behind others. What’s the courteous thing to do in an amorphous horde? Pushing didn’t seem appropriate.

On the stretch back, I began sprinting. Way. Too. Soon. As I was dying, others began to sprint. The bastards. It was high time for tripping fun, but again, didn’t seem courteous. I made it through the finish line, got a little piece of paper, meandered around a little, got some water, thought about my daily horoscope, and then started to fill out the tiny form I was holding. When I got to the field that said “time“, I drew a blank. I peeked back at the finish line, and noticed for the first time the huge ass yellow time clock that was tracking everyone’s time. Doh! So, I saw it reading 26 minutes or so, and figured I’d been putzing around for about 2 minutes, so put down 25:00 even to be fair. Fair sucks.

My 5K take away

It was nice, the free pancakes were good, but overall, the best part of the whole thing was the free T shirt. Outside of that, it just felt like I’d paid $20 to do something I’d done for free many other days before. Anna was pleased I liked it and teased me about the many more I’d sign up for in the future, but in all honesty, it really ain’t a big deal for me. It was fun, but the long meandering romps through our neighborhood at 5am are more my bag than these 800 runner charity things.

So for the last time, fitness freaks, I can see the allure, but I think I’ll just half ass this one and stick to my horrible diet and penchant for beer.

But, to start from the beginning, it’s pretty well established those fumes pillowing out of coal stacks and tail pipes aren’t great for the environment. If you’re still not sold on this wild idea, take a look at Mexico City.

A serene look at one of the world's largest collections of vehicles.

So, it’s not a far stretch to consider if thousands of factories and millions of cars could turn the skylines of Mexico City, LA, or Shanghai into a brown haze, that the same pollutants could be bad for our climate. Doesn’t take a crack team of scientists to tell you noxious fumes are bad.

Which they did. The U.S. National Academy of Sciences and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) - both large groups of internationally recognized scientists – have both ruled human activities are causing surface temperatures to rise globally, and that an overall “global warming” is very likely.

So, if it strikes a chord with common sense, it’s backed by the scientific community, and it’s prevention helps keep our global home looking its greenest, who could possibly want to argue against the ill-effects of carbon pollution?

The Critics

There’s actually a strong crowd of folks who say it’s all a big hoax. Some are legitimate scientists with alternate theories, but most are American conservative taintledinks like Glenn Beck and fans of said taintledinks who haven’t been the same since Al Gore was awarded an Oscar and the Nobel Peace price. Their view goes like this: environmentalism is a hoax cooked up to create an artificial industry of green products and restrict progress for leading world corporations through emissions capping legislation. It’s part "you're just a bunch of Marxist, anti-corporation folks" paired with "you're creating an industry... for other corporations to cash in on!"

And of course, no stranger to denying widely accepted science (for example, the three Republican Presidential candidates in `08 that didn’t believe in Evolution), these same folks reject all popular reasoning on climate change. "The Earth changes naturally" they say. "It goes through ebbs and flows, and climate change is what leads carbon saturation, not the other way around" they say. The viewpoint espoused by the “Earth is 6,000 years old” crowd is playing science with the big boys. No, I’m not convinced.

On the more level-headed side, some call to question the drastic predictions of an Inconvenient Truth. The two biggest points of the global warming hypothesis are:

1. How much will the globe warm in the next 100 years?
2. Is it man made?

Clearly, no one (aside from the most fervent voices on global warming, such as Al Gore) has said outright what exactly will happen in 100 years, only what could happen. It’s reasonable to ask how serious are the future consequences are, and what exact cause do they derive from.

Really though, why does this matter? If sea levels only rise 24 inches versus 24 feet in the next century, is this just a bummer for Atlantic city? Do we shrug it off to some unknown global phenomena and toss another tire on the fire? If it’s indeed not man made, wouldn’t piss-poor air quality and choking landfills still be our handywork? Overall, if eating right and exercising won’t guarantee you’ll live to see 100, does that give you license to bury your face in a bucket of trans-fats until your aorta seals shut?

The sober debate that’s missing

You’d think this isn’t a political issue, and you’d be both right and wrong. The facts of it needs to be analyzed scientifically, but the call to action requires political will. Unfortunately, scientists are good at thinking and politicians are not. And then taintledinks like Glenn Beck just confuse the issue with poo-flinging.

So the reality is we face, globally, a potential danger. It’s not Polar bears are drowning and Kevin Costner’s Waterworld becomes a reality, but it’s not the Earth can magically recover from any unbalance either. Clearly, something could happen in the next 100 years.

Let’s face facts: recycling and car pooling will only get us so far. Each year America wastes more than it did the last. This has not changed. It’d take a tremendous movement of reusable bags, compost heaps and hybrid vehicles to even break even the rate of waste we expunge into our environment, let alone halt it altogether. I don’t care how many “Green” themed events or Network television awareness weeks are scheduled, you will not guilt Americans out of their SUVs, just as you will not guilt Chinese factories out of prospering on plastic injection molded crap and zero environmental impact oversight. The world moves forward regardless.

Plus, we suck (with a capital S) at preventing future turmoil. If CNN had broadcasted the oncoming doom of the housing crisis back in `05, nothing would have changed – it would have just made people tell themselves "OK, I'll just make heaping gobs of money a little longer..."

So, to get legislation and awareness on reducing carbon emissions and prevent the potential catastrophes of a drowned future, it’d seem we need two things. First, focus on the present more. Stop selling the future no one is certain of, and bring focus to what the coal burning plants are doing to the atmosphere today. Nostradamus was great and all, but Al Gore isn’t the same thing, and we’re not going to buy into Cap and Trade just because of future risks even supportive scientists argue over.

And second, a Plan B. I’m talking a mole wood arc, 40 cubits long. You don’t even have to plan for capacity. Just build it out, and dock it on the pond between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. It won’t serve much good, but it’ll freak people the hell out into considering rational thought.

The experience is phenomenal. The 3D is crisp, colors remain unaltered – it’s just incredible. It’s the closest I’ve ever seen to being in the scene itself. Of course the CG of the film is top caliber as well. There’s tons of moments where you lose track of what’s real and what’s animated.  Facial expressions are so life like you often mistake the characters for actors in rubber suits.

In a nutshell, I can’t adequately describe how great the movie experience is. It’s two parts awesome to see a movie in that way, and awesome to see it with a movie like Avatar.

So what gets to me is the comment I’ve heard several times from various sources. “Avatar is just Dances with Wolves in Space.”

There’s two elements I feel are at play with this comment.

1. “I yawn at what everyone else likes.”

The appall of anything “mainstream” is one element I think that drives criticism for any artistic creation that receives too wide of an appeal. Music, art, movie and even food fans pride themselves on having a finer taste in their passion than most. When the most start liking something too quickly, the quickest way to distinguish themselves from the majority is to dislike what everyone else likes.

The part I don’t like about this sentiment is it’s not honest. It’s the notion that no good music plays on the radio, no good food is served at common restaurants, and no good movies make #1 at the Box Office.  It’s why some folks will always swear Greenday used to be good, why only the first set in the Star Wars series is worth watching, and why a meal is served in a rural strip mall can’t be top notch.

Specifically the notion that Avatar is tantamount to Dances with Wolves in space is kinda like summing up the Bible as the Torah with Jesus.  For one, it over simplifies a massive body of work. It’d be a meaningful statement if there were any other tie-ins from this work to it’s comparison apart from “this story is similar to that other story”, but in fact the two are in distinct genres by unique directors over two decades apart. Avatar is no different than any other movie  in sharing similar story elements with preceding works; the same can be said for any work of fiction in the last two centuries.

So the heart of the sentiment is basically another way of saying “the movie was alright, but the book was better.” Or, another way of saying “sure people liked this work, but I’m well informed and know of it’s influences.” Ta da! The “book was better” crowd is generally the “my tastes are refined and are ahead of popular trends” crowd. It’s the verbal equivalent of giving yourself a big shiny gold star for being special. It’s why teenagers go Goth. Kudos, you are special.

In short, Avatar is Dances with Wolves in space? So what?! They’re two distinct movies, and this one is very good – in spite of having been released at a film festival on a $2,000 budget.

2. “I interpret a political message in this movie that I don’t like.”

This stems from the crowd that hates to see American’s – or any familiar government groups or institutions – in any way being portrayed as a ill-intentioned bad guy. If Americans are shown as, say, corrupt, greedy, or in any sort of colonizing or occupying force, certain folks read the directors message that Americans are bad, and are instantly insulted.

I personally can’t understand people with such a fragile world view that can be usurped by a premise that their country is anything other than a force of unquestionable good. These are people that love cowboy and Indian films that don’t examine anything beneath the surface of polar myths. Cowboys in white = good, native Indians = bad. Can’t everything be this presumptuous and simple?

So if a movie challenges your world view and leaves an itchy rash, complain about the concept, but leave the work itself alone. Frankly I wouldn’t be deterred if the Colonel of the movie was victorious and raped Pandora of every last mineral. It was beautifully scripted and well done. So parse what irks your preconceptions from what James Cameron crafted over 3+ years. I’m sure there’s a few good Christian family websites that can advise you on the right and wrong films to watch, ones devoid of any influence from reality.

The problem I have with this sad story is that it’s all too logical.

Tiger Woods is the best golfer in the world. Out of 6 Billion people, his name stands at the top. He makes ungodly amounts of money in endorsements, is in incredible physical shape, travels the world year round, and has superstar fame and fandom wherever he goes. This is his life: he leaves home, travels somewhere for 5 or 6 days, stays at the finest of hotels, has an outpouring of cheer and adoration, wins oodles of money, and travels back home.

I don’t think the story here is that he’s been cheating. I think a more surprising story would be that he hasn’t been fooling around while on his routine luxury tour of the world.

This is in no way to excuse the behavior. Marriage is an uncompromising bond, and a person is committing to full fidelity when they enter it. “Transgressions” can’t be watered down or excused because of circumstances when love and family are on the line.

My point is how can you ever expect to be a normal husband and father when you’re Tiger Woods? I understand the instincts to settle down and raise a family, but it’s a huge gamble if it’s your job to be at a different city and golf course 4 days a week, 40 weeks a year. And some point you got to recognize where your life and your plans fit together. It’s why celebrities treat their marriages like car leases. If you see one last more than 5 years, it’s a phenomenon.

In perspective, it’s not that fascinating of a story really, just a typical tale with fascinating people.

The homes around us started right after Halloween. Following quick math, that’s two months of potential Christmas cheer. Two months of inflated Santa Clauses, the before and after nativity scenes, reindeer parts and other Chinese-crafted, LED illuminated, plastic holiday cheer.

I know, Christmas is awesome. I’m sure Chanukah and the other end of year festivals are great too, but in America, it’s mostly Christmas. I’m will not dignify the crap that follows this topic. The folks that spaz out over the greeting “Merry Christmas” need to ease up a few notches, and the folks that spaz out over “Happy Holidays” need a percocet and a copy of the Bill of Rights.

So under the premise that Christmas is awesome, I understand why people would be anxious to celebrate it. I like my Birthday (or at least used to before I turned 30), but I don’t go prodding for Birthday wishes a month before it comes up. Why don’t you see this sort of hysteria over any other holidays?

Frankly for me, Christmas is egg nog, a (realistic) pine tree and Nat King Cole. A glowing altar on my home’s exterior never really attached itself to my fondness of the season. It almost feels like a competition in suburbia – who can really show it up for Christ’s birthday. Maybe it’s part American competitiveness, part kissing up to the king of kings. Not sure. Either way, it’s quite gaudy and in my mind, is close to warranting federal regulation (clearly since that did a great deal of good on Wall Street).

All I’m saying is, let me enjoy Thanksgiving for what it’s worth without stepping outside and momentary loss of bearing. Give the leaves a chance to fall before you start stringing up the garland and fire-hazard lights, mm-kay?

Part of the confusion for me was seeing people opt for a cell phone’s more obscure features over it’s primary function, and the other part was seeing communication reduced to emoticons and terrible new acronyms. LOL! How R U IRL? It all just feels like a major step backward for human communication. In 1806 we’d be hand writing eloquent letters to one another using proper cursive, grammar and punctuation. Two hundred years later, we’re butchering fragmented phrases and incomplete thoughts into tiny devices. It just feels like we’re a century away from grunting and howling at each other.

Call me a cynic, but the structure of English language serves a purpose. If we’re given years of instruction to learn it and maturity produces articulate adults, moving away from this feels like regression.

Shoe on the other foot

Maybe I didn’t hang out in the right circles. Maybe I don’t have “friends”. Whatever you want to nitpick, I’ve never really traded text with someone until recently. Our friend / nanny has had to let us know on a few occasions “Hey, I’ve gotta run to the store with the kids really quickly” or “traffic’s bad – we’ll be there soon.” So, she sent it to our phones, and it finally made sense.

I was so wrapped up with the vapid conversations I saw conducted over text that I’d missed just how convenient it was. No small talk, no filler converation, as direct as humanly possible. “I require X- do you have it available?” “What time will you be ready?” Sharp, pointed communications that cut right to the message or question. I like it.

Of course, if I wasn’t using my work Blackberry, there’d be no way I’d be willing to thumb it out on an 10 digit pad. That’s nuts in my mind.

Of course, I write this as my own 1 year old is planted in front of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. That’s the immediate benefit for parents – it’s a distractor. They want to watch, you want to fix coffee and breakfast. Win win, right?

Deal is, there’s a ton of programming out there, from the moment they’re out of the womb all the way up through their segway to college. Specifically children’s programming has exploded over the last several years. It used to be a handful of public television shows that we relied on – Sesame Street probably the king of them all. Every kid growing up in the last 20 years should know Sesame Street well, and with good reason. It was creative, and it worked.

That’s the surprising part – it was fiercely researched and scientifically engineered to have to biggest impact on the youth audience. Reading Malcom Gladwell’s book The Tipping Point, he explains the painstaking research that went into making the show what it was. Sesame Street is probably the most researched show of all time, because it broke all conventional wisdom about kids and tv. It proved children can learn from a television show, and that everything about a show’s effectiveness centered on how much a child could grasp. That’s where the puppets came in. They made adult concepts relatable to young children.

These days, the new cadre of shows has come in such large numbers that one can only imagine how few get the Sesame Street detailed approach. A great example of that in my mind is the Baby Einsteins series. It was targeted at new moms who thought it’d give their babies a leg up on vocabulary, early concepts and new languages. If you never saw a Baby Einsteins video, it’s pretty much a montage of 30 second clips that show various colorful demonstrations with narrations in different languages doing a voice over for each. After about 15 minutes, it cuts to about 25 more minutes of advertising for the rest of the Baby Einsteins series.

I’m not going to say it’s total garbage, but there’s no proof it adds anything to early child development (article). You can tell by the way they’re marketed, and the premise they’re built on: any arrangement of distracting pictures set to Beethoven will make your kid smart.

Clearly, there’s no substitute for one-on-one interaction with a child, but at the same time, not all TV shows are a complete hindrance to a child’s development. Of course there’s also the factor of parental tolerance: I will not sit through Dora the Explorer. It could teach kids Calculus, I’m avoiding that show like the plague. Her insipid voice just grates my nerves.

There’s a ton of children’s TV shows out there. I’d say there’s nothing wrong with a little TV, as long as it’s in moderation and you’re selective about the materials.

So, when I’m driving and I see the altar to causes that are people’s automobile bumpers and the many stickers of propaganda posted on each, I get curious (as is their intention – mission accomplished Peace Frogs). In particular, the guns related ones. The “Guns are as American as Freedom” and other half-baked similar sentiments. The “I’ll shoot any Liberal who tries to take my guns” stickers. The “Charlton Heston is my President… still” stickers. These have me baffled.

I’ll start by saying, I have no strong feelings on guns. Guns exist, and people have them. Laws won’t change this. I like shooting them when I can, but only into paper targets and endangered wildlife. Whether or not my city of residence allows me to pack heat in Church or at Applebees is totally out of my concern, as is whether or not the half-drunk idiot next is holstering a .38.  I don’t need a Glock to feel safe eating hot wings. Some people do, and I honor that, though feel perhaps medication is more appropriate.

But this notion that somehow firearms are under a prolific attack by the government seems on all accounts to be abject non-sense.

Let’s run down the list of what the government controls, and where it stands:

Handguns

Handguns seem to be the freshest debate around, but it seems to be at the local level. Good. Leave it there. You don’t like the views of your hometown on carry regulations on public golf courses? MOVE!!

From everything I’ve read, a law abiding, adult citizen can own a handgun in every state. Apparently, it’s everything else the NRA quibbles over. Well, what good is a handgun if you can’t show it off a little? Maybe do some cowboy tricks with it? What if you’re ordering a salad at Wendy’s and Osama Bin Laden tries to rob the joint? You can’t spray mustard packets into his face and expect the same results as a handgun, do you?

To that, I say Osama would focus on higher transaction institutions, and that your local police department 9 times out of 9 has better training, personnel and facilities than you do to deal with the situation. But again, should you feel the need to go Charles Bronson, there’s a good list of cities that afford you that chance.

Rifles

I would hope no one thinks folks are after rifles. Similarly, to the left I say, I would hope no one is truly concerned about rifles. I can somewhat understand concern about small, concealable handguns in metropolitan areas, but rifles are about as much utility as is a shovel or bottle of Jack Daniels. Mix all three, and your evening is probably heading somewhere great, or somewhere terrible.

Rifles, like shotguns, are hunting tools. Sure, Lee Harvey Oswald took the idea too far, as did a handful of other deranged men in American history, but at the very least they never got their hands on the next item.

Assault Weapons

There’s is no good G-D reason any citizen should own an AK-47 or AR-15. Unless that reason is to get liquored up and shoot up some barrels or an abandoned car. Other than that, and although seemingly facetious, that is the only use any Assault Weapon has for the average American citizen. Frankly, as cool as it is to light up an old Ford Fiesta with a bunch of drunk buddies, I say confiscate the guns, givem’ a gift card to Cabela’s and sit them in front of an XBox 360. For Chrissakes, that’s why EA spent so much time souping up them graphics engines – cant you appreciate a digital explosion renderd on a 42″ LCD HDTV?

NRA bobbleheads quote the archaic Second Amendment notion that our forefathers meant us to have everything our military has in order to thwart tyranny. To that I say, “In God We Trust“. We have a selective memory when it comes to the Bill of Rights, and Freedom of Religion means America shouldn’t be one nation “under God” – but your folks lobbied to get that phrase in during the 1950′s.  Congrats, you made Jefferson turn in his grave. Now you want to act like purists on the Amendment right after the one you trample on? Nuh unh.

Assault weapons in the home are like pipe bombs in the home – you don’t see either at Wal-Mart for a reason. They’re used to kill many many people at once. And unless you fear Red Dawn is a prophetic film or think a zombie apocalypse is eminent, you have no reason to own what we issue to soldiers and Marines.

In short, if you don’t like legislation around purchasing a weapon that can kill a crowd of people under 1 minute, shut up and take your pills. You are the fringe. And don’t let Dr.Lazslo know that the ghost of General Patton is communicating with you through your dog again.

In short,…

What gun issue do we have? You like guns? Buy them. Use them recklessly, you go to jail… or the morgue. You don’t like guns? Don’t buy them. Afraid of guns? Stay the hell away from them. Still afraid of guns? Freeze yourself cryogenically until we fix humanity’s hostility issues. It’s on Obama’s agenda in 2011.

Yeah, it’s people who kill other people instead of the guns, but guns do make it a whole lot easier. Of course, so do 3 ton SUVs and several glasses of Merlot. Life’s full of risks. We can rule out the needless ones, but ultimately it’s a balance of the reasonable against the unreasonable. I don’t mind if any idiot with a credit score above 500 can get a Ford Explorer, but it’d worry me if those same idiots could drive a 16 wheel tractor trailer.

I started with the name “Blue Screen” mostly because I wanted to focus on IT, but also wanted to freedom to branch out to other mediums – TV, gadgets, and general technology in society.

I added the article “a” to it because it was poignant,… but mostly because www.bluescreen.com was already taken.

The rest is just following suit with standard web comics. You’ll see Penny Arcade and others do a Monday, Wednesday and Friday post, which seemed appropriate (and more importantly doable), and a WordPress theme for “photo blogs” seemed to be just the thing for a webcomic. The rest is just doing it.

Sadly, this is half me promoting it.

The drawings and building attempts at humor are just the beginning of it all. The next thing to follow is watching site numbers and getting links to the webcomic. This is probably the first site I’ve really cared to see traffic coming in to. It’s sort of an ego cycle: I draw, I’m starved for validation, I see the numbers, I continue to draw. I can see how others get trapped in such a cycle.

This whole thing is really just my outlet. I think everyone needs something to work toward, especially as you get wrapped up in all the obligations of life and start losing site of the things you’re passionate about. Some folks have grander dreams, climbing Mt. Everest, becoming a celebrity cook, running a wildly successful company, doing good in the world, etc. Fortunately, I picked something that comes somewhat easy to me, and I can do it in my pajamas between 8pm and 11pm.

Obviously, drawing 8 pictures doesn’t give me license to speak about how people should achieve life goals. However, when I reach the 30-40 picture mark, expect an arrogant, pompous jerk who’ll go Tony Robbins on anyone in earshot.

How I understand the web comic medium so far

My starting point for all knowledge about webcomics comes from a funny bloke named Ben Croshaw who does a video game review segment called Zero Puncuation. Everything you need to know about gamer comics here:

Personally, I love this video, and clearly, I want to stay away from being “talentless, social pollutant.” Surprisingly, it’s a real problem. The medium of webcomics seems to often be a means for angst-ridden teenagers and man-children to vent their sickest head trips to the world. The whole gambit of fetishs and sub-culture can be found hidden in webcomic lists like www.thewebcomiclist.com. One comic I stumbled on was a 6 panel MS paint comic that shows a stick figure in a similar presenting pose for 5 panels against a solid color background, and in the sixth it shows the same character in front of some underground, vilely sick photograph. The kind you can’t mentally shake for days. Naturally, this comic was pleading the user to exchange links with other like-minded degenerates.

Of course, there’s lots of great ones too that have established the format. My goal is to get good without dropping F bombs in every other bubble. We’ll see how long it takes me before I reneg on that hope.

In other news

Georgie’s 9 months old and I think Elena takes the Bar exam on Thursday. She’ll be the youngest trial lawyer in Georgia, at the age of 2 1/2. She’s already got clients lined up; her first case has something to do with Elmo and the number 8, or something like that. This is what I’ve discerned from our conversations thus far. Kids are so advanced these days, aren’t they?

For those who’d like to hear more about my day – where I buy groceries, what I’m thinking when I’m standing in line, how tired I am in the morning, and other wildly interesting items (you can’t make this stuff up!) – I invite you to my twitter feed:

http:///twitter.com/georgekovats

Fascinating stuff, I asure you. How did I handle the peer review ticket I was assigned? Did the Monday meeting go well? Will Scott Baio make his long awaited comeback? All this and more in my yearly twits. Tweeters. Twipples. Twords. Something like that.