OK, so we weren’t solvent. Apparently farming out every single manufacturing job in the country to mainland China has come with some cost, chiefly a $245 Billion trade defecit.

And we can’t expect the government to fix issues like these anytime soon because they’re embroiled in their own fruitless efforts to fix our national balance sheet. Kinda like everyone else, the nation has racked up some hefty credit card bills. And, you know when a family has money problems, it causes fights. Congress can’t pass anything bipartisan anymore, so it gestures and threatens and filibusters. About the only thing they were able to work together on in the past 10 years is blowing all the cash that helped drive up our debt in the first place.

So we can’t expect to leave High School and make a living on an assembly line any more. America needs to train for tomorrow’s jobs, right? Except, if you take just a passing look, you’ll notice our public Education system is up sh-t’s creek also. Any number of documentaries (see Waiting for Superman – it made me cry) will show you that we don’t produce Engineers and Architects like we used to. But, those are what tomorrow’s economy demands. If we can’t even improve on dropout rates from the nation’s high schools, we don’t stand a chance when 30 years down the road the demand for high tech employees doubles or triples.

Overall, if you look at how the US is doing versus other countries that we’ve traditionally look at condescendingly in the past, we’re not doing so hot. We put the space race on hold – no more Nasa flights to the moon, and a mission to Mars is now left to Science Fiction writers. Since we’ve shipped all the factory jobs overseas, Engineering shops are slowly following, and if you continue the trend, next to go are the corporate offices. Like it or not, we’re a take hike away from accelerating that trend.

Silver Lining

All this to say, it feels like our prospects in the US aren’t looking great for the next fifty years. So if the economy is feeling hollow with no great future, I think the one thing we can always turn to – which continues to be true through good times and bad – is that America is still the cool kid on the block.

Half of China’s wealthiest would rather live in the US. We’re an open society; Jersey Shore proves this fact. Where else in the world would something so hideous have a chance to exist? Sure, Finland has great students, but I’ll bet they all want XBoxes and iPhones. And I bet you if I played Black-Eyed Peas in Brazil, people would recognize the song from a commercial and have the same response as we do in America (shameful, mild enjoyment). You know how suburban kids either look like Justin Bieber or Jay-Z wannabes? Same goes for German kids.

You may not have great odds at equipping your family with a great education or jobs in the US, but if they make it out of college, we’ve oodles of venture capitalists to fund all of their hair-brained schemes. Part of why we mourned so much for Steve Jobs is because we treasure his sort of ballsy, driven creativity that builds American empires like Apple. America takes risks and sometimes wins big.

If we can find away to fix our balance sheets, economy, educational system, retirement system and government – or at least delay the pain and let our children deal with our mess – America’s fabric makes it an awesome place for influence to start from. We may not always find a way to profit from it, but the US is still a global center for “cool”. Hopefully its value holds up.

This changes a little during Elections, but then it’s back to just a part of an employees morning routine at the office. Check the headlines, read a few articles, and move on.

Poly-Sci folks might follow it up at the Cato institute, further online reading, books and other stuff.

But news and TV don’t mix much anymore. Maybe they never mixed. Really, do folks view the TV as a forum for thought provocation? Is it an opportunity for critical thinking? Nah. It’s your time to be entertained.

Fox News jumped from “Fox what?” to top news channel in 10 years. How? It has a hook. It’s found an unrelenting patronage, a demographic, and sculpted it’s reporting around this base. There’s a lot of room in between pure video journalism and pure editorial, and Fox is defining that spectrum.

I used to find myself perplexed by Fox’s success, and as a left-leaning moderate, found it almost offensive. But I know it’s really a gimmick. That’s not an attack, that’s a compliment to any TV production. If you have something that works, ride it out. Drive that gravy train home.

But it ain’t news. Cause if it was, a hell of a lot less folks would watch it. That stuff doesn’t lead you to any conclusions.

But, to start from the beginning, it’s pretty well established those fumes pillowing out of coal stacks and tail pipes aren’t great for the environment. If you’re still not sold on this wild idea, take a look at Mexico City.

A serene look at one of the world's largest collections of vehicles.

So, it’s not a far stretch to consider if thousands of factories and millions of cars could turn the skylines of Mexico City, LA, or Shanghai into a brown haze, that the same pollutants could be bad for our climate. Doesn’t take a crack team of scientists to tell you noxious fumes are bad.

Which they did. The U.S. National Academy of Sciences and the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) - both large groups of internationally recognized scientists – have both ruled human activities are causing surface temperatures to rise globally, and that an overall “global warming” is very likely.

So, if it strikes a chord with common sense, it’s backed by the scientific community, and it’s prevention helps keep our global home looking its greenest, who could possibly want to argue against the ill-effects of carbon pollution?

The Critics

There’s actually a strong crowd of folks who say it’s all a big hoax. Some are legitimate scientists with alternate theories, but most are American conservative taintledinks like Glenn Beck and fans of said taintledinks who haven’t been the same since Al Gore was awarded an Oscar and the Nobel Peace price. Their view goes like this: environmentalism is a hoax cooked up to create an artificial industry of green products and restrict progress for leading world corporations through emissions capping legislation. It’s part "you're just a bunch of Marxist, anti-corporation folks" paired with "you're creating an industry... for other corporations to cash in on!"

And of course, no stranger to denying widely accepted science (for example, the three Republican Presidential candidates in `08 that didn’t believe in Evolution), these same folks reject all popular reasoning on climate change. "The Earth changes naturally" they say. "It goes through ebbs and flows, and climate change is what leads carbon saturation, not the other way around" they say. The viewpoint espoused by the “Earth is 6,000 years old” crowd is playing science with the big boys. No, I’m not convinced.

On the more level-headed side, some call to question the drastic predictions of an Inconvenient Truth. The two biggest points of the global warming hypothesis are:

1. How much will the globe warm in the next 100 years?
2. Is it man made?

Clearly, no one (aside from the most fervent voices on global warming, such as Al Gore) has said outright what exactly will happen in 100 years, only what could happen. It’s reasonable to ask how serious are the future consequences are, and what exact cause do they derive from.

Really though, why does this matter? If sea levels only rise 24 inches versus 24 feet in the next century, is this just a bummer for Atlantic city? Do we shrug it off to some unknown global phenomena and toss another tire on the fire? If it’s indeed not man made, wouldn’t piss-poor air quality and choking landfills still be our handywork? Overall, if eating right and exercising won’t guarantee you’ll live to see 100, does that give you license to bury your face in a bucket of trans-fats until your aorta seals shut?

The sober debate that’s missing

You’d think this isn’t a political issue, and you’d be both right and wrong. The facts of it needs to be analyzed scientifically, but the call to action requires political will. Unfortunately, scientists are good at thinking and politicians are not. And then taintledinks like Glenn Beck just confuse the issue with poo-flinging.

So the reality is we face, globally, a potential danger. It’s not Polar bears are drowning and Kevin Costner’s Waterworld becomes a reality, but it’s not the Earth can magically recover from any unbalance either. Clearly, something could happen in the next 100 years.

Let’s face facts: recycling and car pooling will only get us so far. Each year America wastes more than it did the last. This has not changed. It’d take a tremendous movement of reusable bags, compost heaps and hybrid vehicles to even break even the rate of waste we expunge into our environment, let alone halt it altogether. I don’t care how many “Green” themed events or Network television awareness weeks are scheduled, you will not guilt Americans out of their SUVs, just as you will not guilt Chinese factories out of prospering on plastic injection molded crap and zero environmental impact oversight. The world moves forward regardless.

Plus, we suck (with a capital S) at preventing future turmoil. If CNN had broadcasted the oncoming doom of the housing crisis back in `05, nothing would have changed – it would have just made people tell themselves "OK, I'll just make heaping gobs of money a little longer..."

So, to get legislation and awareness on reducing carbon emissions and prevent the potential catastrophes of a drowned future, it’d seem we need two things. First, focus on the present more. Stop selling the future no one is certain of, and bring focus to what the coal burning plants are doing to the atmosphere today. Nostradamus was great and all, but Al Gore isn’t the same thing, and we’re not going to buy into Cap and Trade just because of future risks even supportive scientists argue over.

And second, a Plan B. I’m talking a mole wood arc, 40 cubits long. You don’t even have to plan for capacity. Just build it out, and dock it on the pond between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial. It won’t serve much good, but it’ll freak people the hell out into considering rational thought.

Long story short, she had a few questionable firings in office, a few ethical complaints, and about half a million in legal debt. But, she showed courage and heart, and braved her way through the onslaught of evil politicians, changed the game, and now builds her fan base with regular spots on Fox News and $100,000 speaking engagements at Tea Party events.

She’s like Tina Turner, and the Liberal Media is Ike Turner. It’s exactly like that.

But, as much as I heart and admire Sarah, I have to say, Sarah, please don’t run for President in 2012. I care for you too much.

1. You’re frighteningly uninformed

You know how mean Fox News was to your opponents last election? Check out your coverage on your home turf.

You see? Some world Geography and knowledge of government is the kind of stuff that they expect from the person 4th graders have to memorize the name and title of. You can’t rely on Google in the White House.

2. You’re morbidly unprepared

Governor of Alaska is equivalent to Office of the Candyman. You run a state with the population of  Columbus, Ohio (4th smallest state in the Union) that gets 80% of it’s revenue from oil business. If a line of very fair questions for someone actively campaigning for the second highest office in the land can bring you to your knees, what makes you think you have the right stuff to be top dog?

You can’t answer every question with “freedom.” It’s not like ketchup – it isn’t always appropriate.

3. Most people remember #1 and #2

Even in clip 1 Shepard Smith has to recognize the Obama lead that resulted from clip 2, the Katie Couric interview. I know heartland Moms who get their news from chain emails and Nascar Dads who get their news from the Paladin Press are 100% behind you, but the rest of the curious country has some serious reservations about you. And you haven’t exactly quelled those concerns.

In a nutshell, you’re a frightening prospect given any amount of authority beyond, say, the Governorship of Alaska or perhaps a mayor of a town of 5,000.

And truly, running for President isn’t the “rogue” we all fell in love with. Stay Mavericky and away form those beltway politicians. Because we know you don’t have it in you to write another book to slam another failed campaign, or the constitution to survive quitting another elected office. You have too much good and comic relief to share with the “Real” America to see it all eviscerated during candidate debates in November, 2012 (where winking is frowned upon).

I heart you too much for that.

A lot can be said left and right about the man, but I think the things that remain in my mind are this: he’s a black man, born to a Kenyan father, exposed to Islam internationally, and his name is Barack Hussein Obama. Seriously. Could you craft a more unlikely candidate? Like he was hand picked to finger every ugly prejudicial nerve this country has. What a hilarious followup to W.  Kudos, sir.

True story – sometime last year, software developers for spelling correction software had to add his name to the dictionary because it kept getting corrected as Osama.

I say all this…

…because it makes me giddy thinking about the amount of stress Republicans and Fox News had trying to form attacks against him that didn’t come off racist or abjectly juvenille – and therefore totally undermining their cause. Because Lord knows nothing ends a public rally like the “N” word. Beautifully powerful. Once a terrible slur of hatred, now a wonderful landmine placed for folks in the spotlight.

(8 months ago in a Fox News program meeting)

“What’s going on people?! How the hell is Obama in the lead?! I mean for Chrissakes people, the guy is…”

(looks to the one black producer in the room)

“…um, Socialist. Clearly he’s Socialist.”

Everyday I watched the news waiting for Rush or one of those other crazy radio performers to slip the “N” word. You could see the beads of sweat on their heads as they mounted attacks. Come on O’Reily… you’re almost there…

About his critics

Enh, jury’s still out. Don’t know how we were still singing “Stand by your man” into Bush’s 5th year, but somehow folks were ready to analyze Obama’s Presidency after 90 days. We’ll talk when Obama doubles the National Debt. Sure, it took the last President 8 years, and sure, at this rate it could be Thursday for Obama, but let’s hold the verdict until then. K?

So, when I’m driving and I see the altar to causes that are people’s automobile bumpers and the many stickers of propaganda posted on each, I get curious (as is their intention – mission accomplished Peace Frogs). In particular, the guns related ones. The “Guns are as American as Freedom” and other half-baked similar sentiments. The “I’ll shoot any Liberal who tries to take my guns” stickers. The “Charlton Heston is my President… still” stickers. These have me baffled.

I’ll start by saying, I have no strong feelings on guns. Guns exist, and people have them. Laws won’t change this. I like shooting them when I can, but only into paper targets and endangered wildlife. Whether or not my city of residence allows me to pack heat in Church or at Applebees is totally out of my concern, as is whether or not the half-drunk idiot next is holstering a .38.  I don’t need a Glock to feel safe eating hot wings. Some people do, and I honor that, though feel perhaps medication is more appropriate.

But this notion that somehow firearms are under a prolific attack by the government seems on all accounts to be abject non-sense.

Let’s run down the list of what the government controls, and where it stands:

Handguns

Handguns seem to be the freshest debate around, but it seems to be at the local level. Good. Leave it there. You don’t like the views of your hometown on carry regulations on public golf courses? MOVE!!

From everything I’ve read, a law abiding, adult citizen can own a handgun in every state. Apparently, it’s everything else the NRA quibbles over. Well, what good is a handgun if you can’t show it off a little? Maybe do some cowboy tricks with it? What if you’re ordering a salad at Wendy’s and Osama Bin Laden tries to rob the joint? You can’t spray mustard packets into his face and expect the same results as a handgun, do you?

To that, I say Osama would focus on higher transaction institutions, and that your local police department 9 times out of 9 has better training, personnel and facilities than you do to deal with the situation. But again, should you feel the need to go Charles Bronson, there’s a good list of cities that afford you that chance.

Rifles

I would hope no one thinks folks are after rifles. Similarly, to the left I say, I would hope no one is truly concerned about rifles. I can somewhat understand concern about small, concealable handguns in metropolitan areas, but rifles are about as much utility as is a shovel or bottle of Jack Daniels. Mix all three, and your evening is probably heading somewhere great, or somewhere terrible.

Rifles, like shotguns, are hunting tools. Sure, Lee Harvey Oswald took the idea too far, as did a handful of other deranged men in American history, but at the very least they never got their hands on the next item.

Assault Weapons

There’s is no good G-D reason any citizen should own an AK-47 or AR-15. Unless that reason is to get liquored up and shoot up some barrels or an abandoned car. Other than that, and although seemingly facetious, that is the only use any Assault Weapon has for the average American citizen. Frankly, as cool as it is to light up an old Ford Fiesta with a bunch of drunk buddies, I say confiscate the guns, givem’ a gift card to Cabela’s and sit them in front of an XBox 360. For Chrissakes, that’s why EA spent so much time souping up them graphics engines – cant you appreciate a digital explosion renderd on a 42″ LCD HDTV?

NRA bobbleheads quote the archaic Second Amendment notion that our forefathers meant us to have everything our military has in order to thwart tyranny. To that I say, “In God We Trust“. We have a selective memory when it comes to the Bill of Rights, and Freedom of Religion means America shouldn’t be one nation “under God” – but your folks lobbied to get that phrase in during the 1950′s.  Congrats, you made Jefferson turn in his grave. Now you want to act like purists on the Amendment right after the one you trample on? Nuh unh.

Assault weapons in the home are like pipe bombs in the home – you don’t see either at Wal-Mart for a reason. They’re used to kill many many people at once. And unless you fear Red Dawn is a prophetic film or think a zombie apocalypse is eminent, you have no reason to own what we issue to soldiers and Marines.

In short, if you don’t like legislation around purchasing a weapon that can kill a crowd of people under 1 minute, shut up and take your pills. You are the fringe. And don’t let Dr.Lazslo know that the ghost of General Patton is communicating with you through your dog again.

In short,…

What gun issue do we have? You like guns? Buy them. Use them recklessly, you go to jail… or the morgue. You don’t like guns? Don’t buy them. Afraid of guns? Stay the hell away from them. Still afraid of guns? Freeze yourself cryogenically until we fix humanity’s hostility issues. It’s on Obama’s agenda in 2011.

Yeah, it’s people who kill other people instead of the guns, but guns do make it a whole lot easier. Of course, so do 3 ton SUVs and several glasses of Merlot. Life’s full of risks. We can rule out the needless ones, but ultimately it’s a balance of the reasonable against the unreasonable. I don’t mind if any idiot with a credit score above 500 can get a Ford Explorer, but it’d worry me if those same idiots could drive a 16 wheel tractor trailer.

And so, once again, it’s time to look back on our mistakes and move forward with their painful lessons still fresh in our minds. What lessons did 2006 offer? Well, here’s three things I think are worth noting.

1. Today, it only takes $1,400 and an iMac to make the next computer-animated children’s movie.

Ant Bully, Cars, Over the Hedge, Ice Age 2, Madagascar, Barnyard, Happy Feet, Monster House, Open Season… Open Season!!! And, the list goes on.

This year, an Army of, well, “turd” animation films were released, continuing audience’s growing apathy toward what used to be a fascinating movie medium. The days of Toy Story and taking years of production work to craft an animated film are long over.

These days, all you need to make an animated flick is one weekend in a sound studio with a half-dozen worn-out actors, a screenplay that can fit on the back of a Denny’s lunch menu and about 3 art college graduates to make the next kids film bomb.

And getting back to Open Season for a moment, the thing that kills me about the movie is the casting. Somewhere in Hollywood (or nowadays, perhaps Calgary), someone thought, “Hey, you know, I just don’t see enough of Martin Lawrence or Ashton Kutcher. Why don’t we cast them both in a film targeting kids?!”

Even though I pose the question rhetorically, I’ll answer it anyway. Because Martin Lawrence is the same vulgar idiot who couldn’t make it through an entire Saturday Night Live monlogue without dropping 30 F-bombs over a rant about venereal diseases, and Ashton Kutcher’s likeability and screen appeal are shorter than the half-life of a fart. (Post-edit: OK, little too harsh on Mr. Kutcher. Seems like a decent chap.)

2. America can tolerate a war for three years before it has to understand what the war is about.

I never paid attention to a mid-term election before, and to be honest, I didn’t even know what the hell one was. But, according to the razzle-dazzle meisters at the news networks, this “war” caused Republicans to lose Congress to the Democrats.

If you’re not Capitol Hill savvy and don’t know what this fully means, it’s kind of like on Who’s Line Is It Anyway when Wayne Brady gets a million points for one of his impromptu songs, and you’re thinking, “boy, I hope Colin Mochrie can catch up.” The points don’t matter, and effectively, neither does Congress. Drew Carey is just gonna pick a winner at random in the end anyhow – it’s in the Constitution.

What’s important is that, finally, people (not just half the nation, but almost everyone outside of Texas) are asking a question that you’d think would be three years late: “So what’s this whole war about now, and when do we win?” To find out, a crack team of Washington insiders formed the Iraqi study group (a self-titled crew of folks commissioned LONG after the need for an “Iraqi Study Group”) to present a huge ist of “I told you so’s” to the White House. This is what we’re good at – watching a disaster occur, and then asking “who dropped the ball?”

They’re startling conclusions? We’re in a mess. Their report was tantamount to a weatherman telling you that the wet stuff outside is rain, and that it’s falling from the sky. Great – we’re all worked up, and we have no one to blame our mess on. Apparently Republicans were a good scapegoat this year, and no doubt the brilliant logic of partisan politics will prevail in 2008 as well.

So now that we’ve found out how long it takes before America wants to understand it’s own war, the next question is how long it takes for America to extricate itself from the cluster-funk and somehow chalk up the mess as a “draw” on America’s war scorebard.

3. This online crap has gone TOO damn far…

I was browsing YouTube.com the other day. You know YouTube – it’s the web site built on video clips that capture the essence of American stupidity. Cats lighting farts, red necks on trampolines, sorority girls puking into kiddie pools,… you get the idea. The site showcases the most inane material bored teenagers can come up with and film.

What you don’t fully grasp until to browse the site is how inane the material is. Seriously. I recommend visiting the site for it’s educational value alone; you will lose some faith in humanity after a 10 minute visit.

Here’s the part that really gets me doubting our survival as a species: there are people who film themselves commenting on other people’s videos of inane crap. In other words, people have gone to the extent of taping themselves making passing comments on the films that other people have taped. And the worst part is, they’re not saying anything at all! “Yeah, it was good”, or “uh, I liked it” are easily captured in written prose – there is no need to bust out the camcorder to tell some shmuck in Idaho, “yeah, I kinda liked you film.”

Harsh reality

Has anyone ever recommended World of Warcraft or Everquest to you? They’re both examples of a new-age cult for fanboys who feel hobbies should require a $200 video card and a monthly subscription. Millions of people every moment of the day are playing these “MMORPG” games, satisfying their social interaction needs by trading magical swords for light-damage +1 hammers and mystical +3 armors, and even making long distance relationship connections – because nothing can highlights a person’s character better than the way their level 14 Mage wields a flaming fireball of Mazaloos.

The concept of putting hundreds of hours a month into a fantasy online world boggles my mind. However, at least you can say there’s a game to it. In Second Life, there is no game. It’s a game where the developers said to themselves, “let’s cut to the core of it: people just plainly do not like reality.” And so, they built a free online world where you basically… live. There isn’t a goal. There are no goblins, no mages, no fireballs of Mazaloos,… just you and a world of other online people.

This takes pathetic to the next level. Second Life has a fully blown economy. You can buy goods, services and even real estate using your actual Visa or Master Card. Why would you buy goods, services and real estate in Second Life using actual money? Typically, because you have too much money to begin with, and it’s a way to reward the games developers for giving you an avatar with a slim build and clear skin.

There’s no way to tie these all together…

…except to say that in that ultimately, we have a tendency to ruin things over time.

Other than these observations, hope your 2006 rocked like mine did. Remember, your resolutions for the year are just around the corner. A word of advice: go with the monthly gym membership. You’re only kidding yourself if you don’t.

To begin, usually I have a picture to accompany my rants. Aside from the legal ramifications of posting someone else’s picture, there’s something about having a picture of Rush Limbaugh on my web site that feels creepy.

I’ve had friends who’ve listened to the guy – naturally, they were white, middle-class gents – and I’d hear some of his word second hand. To this day, I’ve yet to understand my own political alignment, but according to folks like Rush, I suppose I’m either on his side of the fence or the other.

Tuesday
To tune out the normal yip-yap crap on the radio, I took a chance with some AM stations one Tuesday afternoon, and found myself listening to his deep, stern, almost pompous voice. Again, let me preface, I don’t side myself directly against this guy, but extremists in general rub me the wrong way.

So, Rush was discussing the CIA leak at the time (about two weeks back). It was interesting, and it sounded like he had the right idea on one point; the whole issue was made a mountain out of a mole hill. I agreed.

Wednesday
Wednesday, I’m driving, and heard him introduce himself in front of the “Golden Microphone” as he always does (I assume), and he eventually gets around to talking about his comments on the ESPN show. You know, the Donovan McNabb comments?

Apparently, America’s foremost icon for white, uppercrust conservatives had asserted that McNabb’s popularity is primarily attributed to the fact he’s black. Also apparently, this had occurred on Sunday, and took three days for America to mull it over before collectively yelling, “Oh NO he DIDN’T!!!”

Rush was in a corner, claiming freedom of speech, saying that all was fair in Sports and War, and all other sorts of amusing analogies. OK, granted, worse thing have been said. Granted, he may even be right. Still, he is the last person in America capable of innocently making this comment. His positions are clear, and he doesn’t have a background of recognized diverse understanding that would allow listeners to take his word with a grain of salt. To some people, Rush is the Antichrist, and he clearly thrives on his donned reputation.

Thursday
Thursday I hear a reporter on the radio claiming some man, seemingly notable, was being brought up on charges for abusing oxicotton (or oxycontin as it’s properly spelled) and prescription sedatives. The woman kept saying a name “Limbow”, or some mispronunciation that kept me wondering about the connection.

Friday
Friday, Rush started with his usual talk as if it were just another day on his schedule… but he knew it wasn’t. It was his last day. He began responding to his “resignation” from the ESPN crew, and issue that concerned him more conspicuously than the more looming issue.

Once done with his ESPN rant, exasperated, he calmly turned to the claims of his ex-housekeeper from Florida, stating he would do nothing until he could understand further what the claims “are all about”. It was clear to the public, pretty clear to me, but not for Rush. He played it safe.

There was no Saturday. He was detained over the weekend, and the rest was filled in by the evening news.

Rush sat pretty high in his EIB tower behind his golden microphone, attacking “the liberal media” as if he weren’t part of the media or if the word “liberal” were synonymous with “evil”. The truth is, in this society, I can deal with criminals. I can rest at night still knowing that bank robbers exist. I can even accept drug use and the toll it takes on our nation.

But there’s something about Limbaugh that stirs me to the bone.