As many Americans, I’m rather intelligent and vaguely informed, though find it near impossible to follow current legislation. I just know what affects me. You know, because it’s affecting me.
So, when I’m driving and I see the altar to causes that are people’s automobile bumpers and the many stickers of propaganda posted on each, I get curious (as is their intention – mission accomplished Peace Frogs). In particular, the guns related ones. The “Guns are as American as Freedom” and other half-baked similar sentiments. The “I’ll shoot any Liberal who tries to take my guns” stickers. The “Charlton Heston is my President… still” stickers. These have me baffled.
I’ll start by saying, I have no strong feelings on guns. Guns exist, and people have them. Laws won’t change this. I like shooting them when I can, but only into paper targets and endangered wildlife. Whether or not my city of residence allows me to pack heat in Church or at Applebees is totally out of my concern, as is whether or not the half-drunk idiot next is holstering a .38. I don’t need a Glock to feel safe eating hot wings. Some people do, and I honor that, though feel perhaps medication is more appropriate.
But this notion that somehow firearms are under a prolific attack by the government seems on all accounts to be abject non-sense.
Let’s run down the list of what the government controls, and where it stands:
Handguns
Handguns seem to be the freshest debate around, but it seems to be at the local level. Good. Leave it there. You don’t like the views of your hometown on carry regulations on public golf courses? MOVE!!
From everything I’ve read, a law abiding, adult citizen can own a handgun in every state. Apparently, it’s everything else the NRA quibbles over. Well, what good is a handgun if you can’t show it off a little? Maybe do some cowboy tricks with it? What if you’re ordering a salad at Wendy’s and Osama Bin Laden tries to rob the joint? You can’t spray mustard packets into his face and expect the same results as a handgun, do you?
To that, I say Osama would focus on higher transaction institutions, and that your local police department 9 times out of 9 has better training, personnel and facilities than you do to deal with the situation. But again, should you feel the need to go Charles Bronson, there’s a good list of cities that afford you that chance.
Rifles
I would hope no one thinks folks are after rifles. Similarly, to the left I say, I would hope no one is truly concerned about rifles. I can somewhat understand concern about small, concealable handguns in metropolitan areas, but rifles are about as much utility as is a shovel or bottle of Jack Daniels. Mix all three, and your evening is probably heading somewhere great, or somewhere terrible.
Rifles, like shotguns, are hunting tools. Sure, Lee Harvey Oswald took the idea too far, as did a handful of other deranged men in American history, but at the very least they never got their hands on the next item.
Assault Weapons
There’s is no good G-D reason any citizen should own an AK-47 or AR-15. Unless that reason is to get liquored up and shoot up some barrels or an abandoned car. Other than that, and although seemingly facetious, that is the only use any Assault Weapon has for the average American citizen. Frankly, as cool as it is to light up an old Ford Fiesta with a bunch of drunk buddies, I say confiscate the guns, givem’ a gift card to Cabela’s and sit them in front of an XBox 360. For Chrissakes, that’s why EA spent so much time souping up them graphics engines – cant you appreciate a digital explosion renderd on a 42″ LCD HDTV?
NRA bobbleheads quote the archaic Second Amendment notion that our forefathers meant us to have everything our military has in order to thwart tyranny. To that I say, “In God We Trust“. We have a selective memory when it comes to the Bill of Rights, and Freedom of Religion means America shouldn’t be one nation “under God” – but your folks lobbied to get that phrase in during the 1950′s. Congrats, you made Jefferson turn in his grave. Now you want to act like purists on the Amendment right after the one you trample on? Nuh unh.
Assault weapons in the home are like pipe bombs in the home – you don’t see either at Wal-Mart for a reason. They’re used to kill many many people at once. And unless you fear Red Dawn is a prophetic film or think a zombie apocalypse is eminent, you have no reason to own what we issue to soldiers and Marines.
In short, if you don’t like legislation around purchasing a weapon that can kill a crowd of people under 1 minute, shut up and take your pills. You are the fringe. And don’t let Dr.Lazslo know that the ghost of General Patton is communicating with you through your dog again.
In short,…
What gun issue do we have? You like guns? Buy them. Use them recklessly, you go to jail… or the morgue. You don’t like guns? Don’t buy them. Afraid of guns? Stay the hell away from them. Still afraid of guns? Freeze yourself cryogenically until we fix humanity’s hostility issues. It’s on Obama’s agenda in 2011.
Yeah, it’s people who kill other people instead of the guns, but guns do make it a whole lot easier. Of course, so do 3 ton SUVs and several glasses of Merlot. Life’s full of risks. We can rule out the needless ones, but ultimately it’s a balance of the reasonable against the unreasonable. I don’t mind if any idiot with a credit score above 500 can get a Ford Explorer, but it’d worry me if those same idiots could drive a 16 wheel tractor trailer.